Delay
Spent

Audio/Podcast Type Post

Self-belief is like a shadow in the midday sun. Just as we think we’ve caught it, it can recede surprisingly quickly. Our self-confidence is having to deflect blows on an hourly basis. “With social media, for example, it’s impossible to escape negative comparisons,” says Dr Gary Wood, author of Confidence Karma: How To Become Confident And Help Others Feel Great Too. “It’s an orgy of not keeping up with the Joneses, but of wilfully crushing the Joneses underfoot at every given opportunity.”

Below is a road map to improve your self-confidence, designed by the coaches, trainers and psychologists who boost self-esteem for a living.

01.

Lift others

“We boost our own confidence as we build confidence in others,” Dr Gary Wood says. “Giving others an uplift with a compliment will give you and them a physiological and psychological boost, and they will perceive you as more confident and treat you as such, so you get a further boost. It becomes a positive-feedback loop.”

02.

Power up

“Practise a power pose, with arms raised, chin up and chest out,” says Mr David Waters, a therapist and coach. “Emulating the posture of winners triggers a positive hormonal shift, reduces anxiety-producing cortisol and boosts confidence-enhancing testosterone.”

It helps to focus on connecting with people rather than the performance

Simon

03.

Find the right fit

“Nothing boosts self-confidence quite like wearing clothes that fit you perfectly,” says Mr Nick Hems, a men’s personal stylist. “If you truly want to feel comfortable and confident, get the pair of trousers or a shirt you buy off the rack altered to fit you just right.”

04.

Redefine yourself

“One of the challenges that a lot of people face is that they intertwine their identity with their work,” says Mr Simon Sinek, author of Find Your Why. Men tend to introduce themselves by their job title because they attach such status to it that when they lose that job or retire or change career, it can send confidence crashing. “I define myself by who I am – an optimist – not by what I do,” Sinek says.

05.

Connect to impress

“We often get the idea that confidence is about holding court, whereas it’s more to do with putting people at ease,” Wood says. “It helps to focus on connecting with people rather than focusing on the performance.” During an interview, for example, you should direct your energy towards establishing a connection with your interviewer instead of merely aiming to impress them.

06.

Take a breath

“Lengthening your out-breath relative to your in-breath counteracts the fight-or-flight response,” Waters says. “This promotes calmness, quickly soothes racing thoughts and instils confidence.”

07.

Stop chronic worrying

“Recognise that chronic worry, although a defence mechanism against feeling helpless and out of control, leads to excessive anxiety and stress that lower your self-confidence,” says Dr Nick Wignall, a clinical psychologist. “Learn to tolerate the discomfort of feeling helpless and accept that there are things you can’t control. This will free your mind and allow self-confidence to grow.”

08.

Stop scrolling

“If we are doing better than others, we’re happy,” Wood says, talking about social media and self-esteem. “But if the comparisons are less fortunate, we’re not happy. Confidence needs to start with feeling comfortable in our own skin. This must come from inner attitudes. It will never come from outer social pressures.”

09.

Learn to say enough

“Curb negative internal dialogues using a powerful trigger word, such as stop or enough,” Waters says. This cognitive behavioural therapy tip can immediately interrupt self-defeating thoughts and refocus the mind. “Saying these words out loud intensifies the effect, opens up new, more optimistic thought patterns and consequently enhances confidence.”

10.

Don’t dwell on mistakes

“Instead, learn to accept feelings of guilt, regret and disappointment and stop using rumination as an escape,” Wignall says. “By building a healthier relationship with these difficult emotions, you can stop them from undermining your self-confidence.”

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

5 Comments
  • Amanda
    February 20, 2023

    The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

  • Amelia
    March 27, 2023

    There may be others champing at the bit, but Ralph Lauren’s spring collection proves that he remains the master of all-American fashion. From the blue-and-white striped top paired with a navy floral skirt and accented with a neck scarf, to the matching twinset—its cardigan tied at the waist of a pair of periwinkle pants—the effort was a welcome departure from the decadence we so often expect from a fashion show. (Well, at least most fashion shows.) Lauren also made a great case for the brown leather belt. It will certainly be at the top of many spring shopping lists

  • Guest
    May 23, 2023

    With fashion month upon us, there’s no shortage of street style to envy. Whether you crave the fresh London look or favor an understated Parisian aesthetic, there are style lessons to learn from modern, chic women all over the world. Here, we tap into the casual-luxe style secrets from five of the best dressed women in fashion and shop out their effortless looks.

  • Maggie
    July 25, 2023

    “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”

  • Daily News Company
    August 11, 2023

    Before that I was too a bit skeptical at first, but everything has worked out with no problems. I use same from last 3 years on my website https://www.dailynewscompany.com I always go with same, and i suggest this to all WordPress user.