Hello 2014…where the heck has the year gone?!? Well another year is already almost over…can you believe we are into December?!? What the heck?!? Wasn’t it just Christmas?!? Time flies when you are having fun right?
Without a doubt 2013 was a M-A-S-S-I-V-E year for us with lot’s of major changes. I became a solo mum, shifted us interstate and returned to the workforce part time as I worked on getting my business up and running in my spare time (what spare time I hear you ask!).
After years in a toxic relationship, I had lost who I was. I didn’t have an goals any more. So I think I went the extreme and came up with a lot of them. I even chucked in a 41 by 41 which was about doing 41 things on my bucket list before I turned 41. There certainly was a lot to go for and I can’t say I achieved all of them either. In a way I had set myself up to fail by chasing too many goals as I basically thought I was super woman and tried to do and achieve everything.
So back in February this year I had a rethink of what I was doing and decided to create an annual theme for myself:
Make things happen
Yes, 2104 was my year and I was going to make things happen. I parred back on the amount of goals I had and set to focus on just three – spending quality time with Ruby, creating a successful business, moving closer to building our dream home. I have to admit this year has been amazing for us. I had this plan that we were going to stay put in our house, I was going to continue with the cosmetic renovations for at least another 12 months as I saved up enough money to take the next step in building our dream home.
But then one day a real estate agent came knocking and the next minute the house is sold and we are living in a rental. The part time contract work I was doing that I hated because of the stress and full time hours I was working (for free!) suddenly came to a halt. Here I was, the first time in over 20 years without a mortgage and money in the bank that would enable me to focus purely on my own business. Who would have thought back in February that we would be where we are today!?!
I’m the type of person that looks forward to the Christmas holidays because I get to think about what I want to achieve over the next 12 months. I make all these plans, have lists that I can review every Sunday evening to keep me on the straight and narrow to achieving them all.
Recently I’ve been reading a book called “The Desire Map” by Danielle Laporte and it is making me rethink my goal setting. Having goals feels like you have to prove yourself all the time. We go after the stuff we want to get, have, experience or accomplish outside of ourselves. But we actually have it all upside down. We’re not chasing the goal itself, we’re actually chasing the feeling that goal will give us.
So what if, instead of making it our goal to loose weight, get a new job that pays better and spend more time with family, we actually make a goal to feel radiant, auspicious and connected. And if after the 12 months we didn’t get that new job but instead started our own business and yet still felt auspicious…would that not be great? You wouldn’t feel like a failure because you still achieved your goal of feeling auspicious even if it came in different form than what you thought it would.
To me this new way of goal setting feels more about living in the now. More about appreciating and being grateful and happy where you are right now while still dreaming big.