Back in 2021, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was DCIS, or ductal carcinoma in situ as it is known. It’s a very early form of breast cancer – some even say it’s not really cancer. With DCIS, the cancer cells are confined inside a milk duct in the breast and the cancer cells haven’t spread into the breast tissue as yet. Unless it comes outside the duct, chemo does not work.
I wouldn’t have even know I had it had mum not have gone for her annual breast mammogram the month before and been diagnosed. We have no history of breast cancer in the family so for mum to also have the same breast cancer in the same side as me and about 1cm away from where mine was couldn’t have been any stranger. After mum was diagnosed, she nagged me to go get a scan. I told her it wasn’t genetic, I wasn’t 50 yet. But mum is like a dog with a bone and doesn’t give up. Lucky for me!
I remember going for the scan and them telling me I was likely to get a call back as they had nothing to compare it to. So when I receive the letter asking me to come in for more tests, I just assumed it was because of that. However, the letter said I needed to allow half a day so I called them to question if I really needed that much time. They said they had actually found something on my right breast.
The day of the tests, I used my humour as I always do, walked into the room filled with ladies in their hospital gowns and asked “who wears it best?” I think I told the doctor, as he was checking my breasts, that his friends must think he has the best job. Always the joker!
As the day progressed, some ladies went home and the rest of us moved to the next round. After a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy, I was finally able to go home – one of 3 ladies that had progressed to the final round.
A week later, I was back to get the news – I had breast cancer.
The following week they had me booked in for surgery to remove it. What a fun experience that is! I think the worst part is getting the hook wires in before the surgery as they not only have to squish your boob into a mammogram machine but they they feed wires in to direct the surgeon where to go to remove the cancer.
I went back to the doctor a week later who advised they didn’t get enough of the cancer so I would need to go for surgery again. Two weeks later, I went under again and had more removed. The following week the doctor informed me that they were not happy with the margin around it. She suggested I might like to remove the breast completely. I thought, “hang on a minute, this is supposed to be early cancer so why am I removing a part of me”. That’s when the radiation oncologist stepped in and said that is what radiation is for…to kill any cells left over. So they racked me up for 30 radiation treatments.
It all happened during COVID lockdown and was a nightmare. I was working full time, home schooling Ruby and then ducking off in my lunch break to get radiation. I would run in, strip down as I was walking down the radiation room corridor. I told the men that had been doing the radiation that I haven’t had so many men look at my breasts as I have recently.
Fast forward 3 years and I have been thankfully clear….until my scan this year. Having moved to a new town, I took all my previous scans with me just in case they needed them. After my scan, they took the last scans to the doctor to compare. They came back and said “I’ll just take the rest in as well”. I thought something was up. But when they came back and said “We’re just going to do a few zoomed in scans” I knew something wasn’t right.
I got a call from my new breast surgeon on a Friday night (we like to joke it is his Friday night specials!). He said there was some calcifications coming up in the same breast, very close to where the previous cancer was and he wanted me to have a biopsy the following week. Following the biopsy, I get a call the following Friday night (I told you they were special) and I have breast cancer again and this time there was no alternative than a single mastectomy.
I wasn’t really worried with the previous surgeries but this time I really was. I was thinking about what would happened if I didn’t make it out, making plans for Ruby and a future without me. I was also thinking that I would likely be out of action for a while so what do you do while you wait for your surgery date….
…you start painting the exterior of the house! (more on that later!)
Surgery happened and I spent about 4 days in hospital. They had a drain in so I had this lovely baggy to carry with me everywhere draining the fluid out. I couldn’t shower because I didn’t want to get the dressing wet. I couldn’t raise my arm to brush my hair and it was just in a knob on my head. My friend Tash was going to drive an 8 hour round trip to come and visit me so I needed to fix myself up. I sat crying thinking of the things we take for granted like showering and brushing our hair. The lady opposite me heard me crying and said she had some dry shampoo, was a hair dresser and would love to brush my hair for me.
The day I was coming home, my surgeon came to visit and remove the dressing. I couldn’t look at it – I didn’t want to see. To be honest, I don’t think I have fully looked at it yet and it has been 5 months. But if you wanted to have a look, I would gladly show you!
I’m not suitable for reconstruction due to radiation damage and I also have keloid scaring from the previous surgeries so it is a prosthetic for me.
The experience has been really overwhelming but I was mostly overwhelmed by the support from family and friends who have really been there for us throughout the journey.
So now I am Mono Michelle as I like to call myself. It definitely feels weird, some days I think I feel wonky. But I have certainly found so much benefit in talking to people who have trodden the same path as me. So much so that I will be starting a podcast so that I can not only pay it forward and share my journey but also invite others to do the same. You can follow The Boobie Files on Facebook to be updated when the podcast is going to launch.
Have fun!
